What Makes a Couple Happy? A Qualitative Exploration of Five Couples' Love Relationships, Communication Styles, and Sex Life Satisfaction
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Authors
He, Frances
Issue Date
2000
Type
Dissertation
Language
en
Keywords
Alternative Title
Abstract
Many researchers have attempted to formulate what makes a relationship successful and enduring. Early studies of relationships and marriage focused solely on emotions and human interactions and relied heavily on often inaccurate surveys using a questionnaire format (Wingert & Kantrowitz, 1999). This study aims to explore holistically how happy couples balance the elements of love, communication, and sex in their relationship and achieve happiness. Phenomenological methodology was chosen for this study. In-depth interviews were conducted among five self-selected "happy" couples. The Index of Marital Satisfaction (IMS) was administered before the interview. The scores for each couple were high and remarkably similar. Happy relationships were a dynamic process. These couples did not start with completely satisfying relationships but wanted to build one. Happy relationships do not necessarily mean perfect relationships. These five "happy" couples did not indicate that every aspect of their relationship was perfect. Conflicts and arguments were reportedly alive among them. Their common goals and visions kept them * in perspective. A clinical implication of this study was that fights are not necessarily “bad” things because resolving fights can bring couples closer through their effort to listen to and understand each other's point of view. Another clinical implication was that not all conflicts were resolvable within a certain time frame and circumstance. The acknowledgment of the un-resolvability of conflicts may be a useful clinical intervention. By shifting the focus to finding solutions or compromising, the couple could have a chance to step out of the conflict and have a moment to reflect on the process. In addition, for those couples who fight constantly, one intervention could be to help them pinpoint priorities in their fights. Then, the couples could choose to fight over the most important issues. This intervention may encourage the couples to self-reflect and elicit resolutions.